BWH Golf Society

Golf for the fun of it !!


Lightning strike

A man was hit by lightning on a golf course.

The picture is what was left of his bag. Please pass this along .
Read what the policeman says, then take a look at the pictures.


I have been a police officer for 18 yrs and have seen a lot of
gruesome and disturbing scenes  ... this one was different because
it hits close to home and some of us have been in this situation.

This 75 year old golfer (no pictures of him) was out on the course
with 3 other retired guys for a regular weekly tee time, and the
weather forecast didn't even predict rain at 10pm the night before. 
They teed off and got around to the back nine when it started to
rain, and when there was a little lightning way off in the distance
so they headed in.  They waited under a tree half way in when
the rain became very heavy.

When it let up a little bit three of them then continued in but one guy decided to wait it out under a 50' pine
with an overhang of 10' while standing next to his bag.  
Minutes later a lightning bolt struck his bag and trolley as he was holding onto one of his clubs killing him instantly.  

Most of the items in the bag simply disintegrated from the heat and intense initial zap - including the labels
to his Ping irons and Cleveland woods (which all popped off). The electricity burned holes into the bottoms
of the clubs. 
The strange thing is the tree under which he was standing had no sign of a lightning strike.
The bolt literally went sideways under the tree to the golf clubs. 


Lesson to be learned -  If you are caught out on the course or water ... distance yourself from anything
metal OR graphite. Did you know that lightning  rods  are often made of graphite? 

Put your cart 50' away from you!  When you see lightning off in the distance 

Gospel according to St Titleist

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with
him across a desk. - Grantland 

2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf  players become is proven
by their frequent  inability to count past five. -John Updike

3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is
playing golf. - Robert Lynd

4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far
better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson

5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than
that.. - Gardner Dickinson

6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club,
they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead

7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. -William Wordsworth
         
8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
         
9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway,
so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt

         
10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he
makes a hole-in-one. - Bishop Sheen

         
11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. - Arnold Palmer

12. My handicap? Woods and irons. - Chris Codiroli
                
13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick
on top. - Pete Dye

         
 14. I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out
of them! - Buddy Hackett

         
 15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. - Billy Graham
         
16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
         
17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
         
18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon
        
19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either
of them. - Jimmy DeMaret

             
20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. - Ben Hogan
         
21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook.  If I hit it straight,
it's a miracle. - All us Hackers

         
22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve
your lie. - George Deukmejian

         
 And Finally
                  
23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of
a
bagpipe. - Lee Trevino

 

Golf terms

Worth a refresher.....



A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer a
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the required green

 

Who wins the contest?

A true golfer

The Shining in Spain

Contributed by our New Captain !

I need one of these T shirts !!!!

Do golfers pee in the woods?....naaaah


Now for the next part - can you name them?

Graham's trip to Toronto

I recently visited Toronto and took many pictures but I thought
that this was
particularly good of the CN tower.