BWH Golf Society

Golf for the fun of it !!


Must remember to organise this!

Trust our American cousins could come up with this one!

http://www.playgolfdesigns.com/professionals.html





Hook or Push?

(Contributed by the Captain)


Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart. Ed was ecstatic.

He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts,

movies, and museums. 

Ed became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love.

Every date seemed better than the last.

 

 

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Dorothy

to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said,

"I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you.

I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage.

So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only

fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV.

In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem,for us,

you'd better say so now!"

 

 

Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem.

I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with

each other, you need to know that about the last five years I've been a hooker."

"Oh wow! I see," Ed replied. He looked down at the table and was quiet for a moment,

deep in serious thought, then he added,

"You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."




Don't you love'em?

 
A man got on the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and
sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time,
thinking deeply about what he had said.
 
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer,
she asked,

"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"




 

Golf terms

Worth a refresher.....



A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer a
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the required green

 

Who wins the contest?

A true golfer

The Shining in Spain

Contributed by our New Captain !

I need one of these T shirts !!!!

Do golfers pee in the woods?....naaaah


Now for the next part - can you name them?

Graham's trip to Toronto

I recently visited Toronto and took many pictures but I thought
that this was
particularly good of the CN tower.